Teakowsha
by Madai Talmai
Summary: My first parody short-story. When Master Steve try's to teach a special defense call, he gets a smart mouth student names Ash Ketchum who won't shut up. Now Ash will learn the meaning of Tea-kow-sha. Rated T for some language.


**Seth Nemah: Hey everyone this is my first short-fanfic parody, based on a scene of a old 80's Canadian comedian show called "The Frantics." I got the idea after reading Ranger 24's "Wedding of Stupidity" story. Ranger, that was sweet man really sweet! So please enjoy. **

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It was a clam and quiet evening in the city of FanFiction, but over at "Master Steve's Martial Art Dojo", Master Seth Nemah (sometimes called Steve, or Stephen by his friends and comrades) was just starting one of his special defense classes. When he notices it was just June, Danny, Ash, and Ami who were attending.

"Approach students. Close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of tae-kwon-sha, but be warned. To learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own self. Let us meditate on this wisdom now, so. Ahhh.... ohhhhh...."" Steve said as he began to meditate.

But as the rest of class begins to meditate,Ash starts waving his hand to get Steve's attention.

"Uh sir... sir... ooo! ooo! Sir!" Ash called out to Steve.

"Ash shhhh!" Ami hushed him.

"Who disturbs our meditation as a pebble disturbs a pond?"Steve said as he notices Ash calling to him.

"Me. Ash Ketchum." Ash stated his name.

"A…. Ash Ketchum." Steve looked puzzled.

"Yeah Uhhh. No disrespect or nothing, but like how long is this going to take?" He asked.

"Tae-Kwon-Sha is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon." Steve explained to him.

"So like, what, an hour or so?" Ash asked again.

"No, no. We have not even begun upon the path. Ash Ketchum, you must learn patience." Steve said.

"Yeah, yeah, patience. How long will that take?" Ash asked again, this time he was losing his patience.

"Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day." Steve stated.

"A year?! I wanna beat people up right now! I got the pajamas. Ha..yo...wa... wooo!" Ash shouted as he shows of some random fight moves.

"Beat people up? Steve raised a eyebrow, as he questioned Ash's methods.

"Yeah, just show me all those nifty moves so I can start trashing bozos. That's all I came here for. Yo-as-ta-ta-shah! Pretty good aye?" Ash tried to impress Steve and the rest of the class with more random fighting moves.

"The only use of Tae-Kwon-Sha is self defense. Do you know who said that? Lian-Chu, the great dragon hunter." Steve explained to Ash again.

"Yeah, well the best defense is a good o-fense. Do you know who said that? Chef, the cook on South Park." Ash told him.

Steve gave Ash a stare that said "Who the heck is this guy?" "Well, umm... Tae-Kwon Sha is the post-card of purity, not the calling card of hostility. Meditate on this truth with us. Ahhh.... ohhhhh...." Steve began to meditate again.

"Listen jackass, now are you gonna show me those nifty moves, or am I going to start wiping the walls with you?!" Ash shouts angrily at Steve.

"Ash Please!" Ami said as she tried to clam him down.

Just then a huge tick mark appeared on Steve's head, he started to take deep breaths in order not to lose his cool.

"Ash Ketchum, you fail to learn Tae-Kwon Sha. Approach me so that you may see." Steve said calmly, as his right started to twitch in anger.

"All right, finally some action." Ash said as he approached Steve.

"Ash is so dead." June said, as she knew what was about to happen.

"Observe closely class. Boot to the Shin." Steve said.

Then out of nowhere a boot comes flying at Ash and hits his shin, and completely falls to the floor.

"O my God, Ash are you ok?!" Ami asked in concern.

"Ow, you booted me in the shin!" Ash said as he hold his shin.

"You are lucky Ash Ketchum. Few novices experience so much of Tae-Kwon Sha so quickly." Steve told him.

"Ow, ho, my shin." Ash still holding his shin in pain. "Now let us continue." Steve said he returned to his meditation.

"Hey, hey, I wasn't ready! Come and get me now pussy, come on, are you a wimp?" Ash tired to tease him.

"Boot to the shin" Steve said.

Then another boot comes flying at Ash's shin again.

"Ow! Okay, now I'm ready, come on, try it now." Ash said as he try's to not to fall to ground.

"Boot to the head." Steve said again

Then a boot hits right in the back of Ash's shin.

"Mind if I just lie down here for a minute? Ow." Ash said as he falls to the gound.

"Now class, we shall return to our..." Steve said before his was interrupted by yet another student.

"Master." Danny stated.

"It is wrong to tip the vessel of knowledge student." Steve told him.

"Many apologies master, but I feel Ash is not wholly wrong." Danny said.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked as his face gave a "O Lord, not again" look.

"I want to boot some shin too." Danny told him.

"Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ash Ketchum?" Steve questioned Danny.

"Yes master, I have learned two things. First, that anger is a weapon only to ones opponent." Danny stated

"Very good, very good indeed." Steve was impressed at Danny's wisdom.

"And secondly get in the first shot. Boot to the shin!" Danny shouted.

Then a boot comes flying at Steve's shin, but quickly dodges it.

"You missed." Steve said simply.

"Uh, yeah, well ..." Danny said in fear.

"You to shall be honored to learn a lesson." Steve said as he began to give a devilish smile.

"Ya know, I can... you don't have to ya know... I gotta be going...." Danny slowly moved back away in fear.

"Boot to the shin." Steve said.

Then a boot comes flying at Danny's shin and hits his shin.

"Ooo...ya.. ehh... ooooogggg... awwwwww!" Danny said in pain as he falls to the ground.

"Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here?" Steve asked Ami and June, the last two standing students.

"Uh, yes master, not a single one of could defeat you." June said in fear.

"You gain wisdom young one." Steve said as he closed his eyes.

"So we'll have to gang up on you! Get him now!" June shouts as she and Ami try to jump him.

Steve quickly dodges them, and then notices Ash charging right him.

"Boot..." dodges Ami, "boot to..." dodges June, "ht..." Steve dodge very student the came his way.

A whole hour of trying to catch Steve, end miserably as he had got the upper hand and booted all four of his student's shins.

"And now class, let us rejoin the mind to the body, and gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation. Ahh... owwww...." Steve started to finally able to meditate again.

As he meditated, his students still lying on the floor in pain slowly started to join in.

"Ahhh... oooooowwwww....." June, Danny, Ash, and Ami said in pain.

"Every good class" Steve said with a grin.

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**Seth Nemah: Well there is one lesson I've learned today, it is if you don't shut your mouth and listen, you get a boot to the shin. Well hoped you all enjoyed it, till then see ya! R&R.**


End file.
